I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
