Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
