I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
