Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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