I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
