I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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