God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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