i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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