I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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