i just had sex bonerless
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize