Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
