maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize