I faked an abortion last night.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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