Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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