Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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