this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
