At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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