She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
