Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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