Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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