Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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