i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
