They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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