listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
