i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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