Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't deserve a penis
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
