All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
