I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We're too hungover to prance.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
