PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
