Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
