Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
