Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize