yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
