I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
