And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize