i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
