you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize