So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
