My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
