I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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