I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
