So drunk, too bad you don't want this
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
