thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
