that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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