Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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