I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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