I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
