Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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