My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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