We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
