you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize