why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
