Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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