found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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