Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
