Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
