I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
