So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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