having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
