i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
that's an acceptable place to lick
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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