found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
