She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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