so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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