i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
