Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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