Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
