last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
