what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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