it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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