my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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