How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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