i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
