and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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