It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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