I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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