Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize