you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
