Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
